Thursday was Jay Clark's birthday! Robert called him and invited him to dinner. I had it all planned out. We had chicken in the freezer, potatoes and corn. Joy would bake cake and we were set. I felt so organized and ready to go when I woke up in the morning.
Then Rachel called. The girls were staying home from school to pack while she was at work. Would I show them where boxes were? I took them to find boxes. During this time Robert is at a school working.
It was an early release so I took Joetta to her new school to meet her teachers and get ready as well as see her new apartment. Then finally about two o'clock I took them all home after getting as many boxes as I could find.
When I dropped them off I saw a translator I had been trying to reach. I grabbed him, called a school, set up a meeting, made arrangements to let the family know and put another meeting on my schedule for next week.
Robert & I got home and began to talk about dinner for Jay. I got called because a Sudanese family's foodstamps hadn't come and the mother was worried about feeding her children for the weekend.
I went and got them and headed to H&W. She and I and her five kids sat around a waiting room...waiting.
While we were there a Bantu family walked in. The oldest daughter had an issue that I needed to visit the family for so we were able to talk about it there. One thing off of my plate, just need to follow up now. The same family requested our help with school- they had one child ready for "K" and another ready for Headstart. I made a call to Headstart while I was sitting there.
As we are still sitting there waiting, a Turkish family came in. Again they had school aged kids and they were moving. Could we help them change the children's schools (four kids, three schools?). I added it to my schedule for next week.
We went in to the office. I was actually very impressed with the H&W office. The caseworke that narrated on this case yesterday was very kind. She was patient with 5 kids in her office. We walked out with food stamps for the kids by 5pm. We had started this process at 3:30pm. I really didn't expect that!
As I am taking this family home- I call Robert to see if he can start working on dinner. He had pulled the chicken. We had one large pack of legs and a large pack of breasts that had mistakenly gotten put away in the freezer before we had portioned it out. I was bummed. We only needed enough for 7 people and had food for a lot more people. Robert & I decided to cook it all and we would just eat a lot of chicken left overs.
As I was dropping the family home I watched the kids walking away. They have been wanting to come to our house since last summer. They love our two youngest children so they asked me to say "Hi" to them. I looked at them, thought of how much my kids would love to see them, thought about Jay and how much he likes these two kids and decided to ask their mother if I could take them for the night. Yes! Nine people instead of 7.
On the way home I went to the store to get potatoes. As we were walking up to the door the kids saw the girl scouts selling cookies. "Can we get some?" I see behind the table one of the
women we work with and enjoy at one of our schools. I stop to say "Hi" and buy a box of cookies.
I walk in the store. When I walk up to the produce I saw two people from my past who obviously hadn't seen each other for a long time. I stopped with my two charges to talk with them. Again one of them was involved in an organization that Robert and I had wanted to refresh our knowledge of and partner with again. I found out they have a meeting tonight. "Do I want to come?" (that is still up in the air- I really want to sleep)
We check out- I talk a bit to the cashier that I see almost on a daily basis and then I head home. On the way home my phone rings. A Kenyan friend of mine needs to visit a friend in trouble at the hospital. Can she bring her three year old over for a couple of hours? "Sure." I say "Has she eaten?" No. Ten for dinner.
I get home with my charges. My children yell from their rooms and come tearing down to greet their friends. Robert and the kids have cleaned the house very well, put the chicken in the oven and peeled the potatoes we had.
I peel potatoes, get the table set and Jay comes. He and Robert sit and talk for awhile. F and her three year old daughter come. I ask F if she has eaten. No, but she needs to get to the hospital. "Do you want me to save you some?" She would love that. 11 for dinner.
I am putting food on the table...the phone rings...it is Joetta. One of the kids in her neighborhood , who is one of our cases has gotten hurt. He hit his head very hard and is walking around the neighborhood, scared, not listening, making no sense and acting paranoid. Can Robert come? He and Joy leave. Jay, our kids, visiting kids and I sit down to eat. Robert spends time trying to find the boy and get the boy come with him to the hospital. to Robert delivers boy, father of boy, brother of boy, and translator to the emergency room. When all had settled down and he was no longer needed at the hospital he leaves for home and dinner.
Robert is home, Jay and he are talking, S comes, I serve her the plate I have saved for her dinner. We eat a birthday cake and sing "Happy Birthday to Jay" the reason we are here. At nine Jay leaves for another appointment. God bless Jay. He isn't upset that all of these people crashed his birthday. Instead he enjoys it, laughs with the kids and blesses all of us.
I take S and together we deliver my charges home. When we get back to my home S and I sit and down and talk until midnight about issues she is dealing with.
The food that was too much hours ago is now just enough. The five pound sack of potatoes is gone, the large bag of corn is gone, there are a couple of pieces of chicken for someones lunch today and one last piece of cake.
This is not an unusually busy day at our home. Instead it can be fairly normal. We walk around, we meet new people or we know people. With almost every encounter during the day a request for action is made from us. We have to draw our boundaries tightly because of this. Some things we will do, some we send to others, and some we just won't do.
As for dinner- a typical American home I believe asks a certain group of people to dinner @ 6pm. They come, have a great time and the guests leave graciously around 9pm. In all of the other cultures we work in being invited is rude and means that you really don't like the person. It is normal for people to just come by around dinner time and eat with you. It is also rude if a guest leaves a few hours after dinner or if you expect your guest to leave.
Yes, I know we are in America and that people need to learn our ways... However they often know our ways and miss some of their own. They miss that connection that you get spending time around food talking and laughing. It is amazing the relationships that we build sitting at their table or our own. Thanks Jay for letting so many people crash your party!
