July has it really been since July???

So for the past month I have been thinking about the moment in time when I would actually get to sit down at this computer and write to you all again. For the past month the first line that I wrote in my mind was always this one...
glub...glub...glub..... aah....!
I have gotten to the top of the water line and can breathe again.
Oh yes and there is Robert beside me.
I haven't seen him in awhile.
Normal life is pretty busy but since July I truly haven't been able to sit long enough to write to you. So instead of telling you how busy we have been how about if we tell you a little about what we have done for the past few months.
We all had a great time doing summer reading and were sad to see the summer go. The kids were great and we have enjoyed hugs this summer. On the first day of school I can't tell you how many of our kids in the schools said "I know you! You read to us!" I find that funny since neither Robert or I read very often but who can complain if a kid associates your face with books. Not us!
One of my favorite stories was the day we took a little Burundi child into the school with his family for a school tour. For weeks I had seen him and played with him at summer reading. Our kids played with him often but I had never heard him speak a word of English. On the day of the school tour he walked in the front door trailed by his parents and this little tiny first grader looked down the long hallway to the shelves that lined each wall. And then his little voice filled with awe... said quietly books............ He knows the word book in English. Yay!
Then there were the billions of pieces of paper that we wrote out, notarized and explained to parents, signed and finally delivered to most of the schools in the valley. Each group of papers came with usually three hours of orientation, an hour for a school tour and a half an hour to deliver back packs and put kids on the bus bright and early in the morning. Typically Robert & I have run the first day of school by ourselves but this year we had Jeremiah and Jay to help us out. The day went well. Later in the day when I was visiting a school to make certain all was well Jeremiah came with me and was able to secure a position in the school as a volunteer to grab some good volunteer hours for his scholarship. That was good!
One of the very different things about this year (This happened some last year but a lot this year) was that as we went into the neighborhood to take our cases to schools other people came to us needing their children registered into school. You see it is our goal that all of our cases are ready and set to go by the first day of school. Buses are ready, schools found, backpacks given, smiles and hugs and the first day of school in America is begun on a positive note.
So the first day of school was over and then we began the "please give our kids a school bus"; and "please I need to talk to a school counselor and I don't want to stand in line for the next hour to do it."
I forgot to say that we had also spent the weeks just before school getting documents translated, zipped up and given to BSU for new college students. We also went on BSU tours and to orientations with new students.
Right now the busy work is slowed down and Jeremiah is running Joy through her reading vocab while he waits to get onto Robert's computer to finish his BSU online math quiz. Roya is on her way over to study math. Our kids babysat Deborah, a little Kenyan girl, while her mother was at BSU attending an art history lecture, Sang came before dinner to do math and finally kids are in bed, and I am writing to you. The pace has slowed a bit.

The Weekend As We Knew It

Hello all...
The weekend was fun and very busy. On Friday we got to got to the African Children's Choir with a couple of CATCH! volunteers and some Kenyan friends. It was fun to sit with Sally, one of our friends from Kenya and get a play by play on language and information being given to us.
On Saturday we went to a Bosnian/American wedding where Robert played the "marryin' man." We enjoyed going to Katherine Albertson's Park for the ceremony and then a big party at the Basque center. It was so much fun.
Then about 11 o'clock pm we went to the Jewish Synagogue for a Bantu Muslim wedding. It is a nice place for a wedding-this being our second there. It was very hot as there were about 300 people there. One of my favorite girls got married to one of Robert's favorite translators so that was fun. Last week when I caught him in the neighborhood I went through my normal "hand on his shoulder- light squeeze- slight threat in my voice." So she has another year of school and then college....is she going to both? If she doesn't you will have to work three times as hard to get your family to eat. It would be best if she went to university. He smiled, having already anticipated my question and gave all the right answers. We will see if they actually come true but at least he KNOWS the right answers.

Fourth of July at Plum House

So we set out to have a lazy 4th. We had told Jill & Jer our plans and invited them if they wanted. We also knew that my parents would probably join the festivities.When we were visiting one of the neighborhoods, J came up and asked if she and her sisters could come stay with us for a couple of days. We said yes and so yesterday we had three extra little girls.That afternoon we went to the parade, my parents, our kids, Robert & I and three little girls. We enjoyed watching little girls who had never gotten to see a parade except for on TV. They had fun running for candy with our kids, waving at the people in the parade, clapping for the veterans and getting soaked at the end of the parade. It was a fun time.Then last night Jill and Jer joined us with one of their neighbors for fireworks. We had planned to get together with our neighbors for a firework show so with Russ, Robert and Jer's fireworks we had quite a show. We pulled lawn chairs out onto the side of the street and watched the guys and the kids run up and down lighting things, deciding on the perfect sequence and just general having a great time in controlled mayhem.At the end of the night when our visitors had gone all except our three little guests we heard a little voice say..."That was the best day ever!" and off to bed we all went.

Lunch at Plum House

So we are eating goulash for lunch. Our lunch time sort of ran into our meeting. As people came we were still eating so we offered them food. So as I sit here writing this we are eating with Jim Wright from TRIO, Boise State, Abubacar, a Somalian man and Sally, a Kenyan woman all of us, sitting around eating goulash and working on getting registered for fall term at Boise State.I could see my fall work sitting in front of me.

The First Talk Time Night

I went into one of the neighborhoods to begin a new "Talk Time." My oldest daughter and I got there a bit early. We decided to sit and wait outside until all of the other "native English" speakers arrived. As we sat there one of the summer reading kids walked up and then another and then another. When they came up to me they asked every time when I was going to start reading and why I wasn't walking to the other side. I kept telling them that I was not here to read this evening (we don't have a reader yet for Tuesday) but instead I was here to visit a home. The kids didn't like that answer. Finally after a few minutes and ten children hovering around us we sent one of the kids off for a reading book. Our oldest daughter and one of the volunteers for Talk Time (tt) sat down with kids all around them and on their laps reading.About half way through the book, the women of (tt) had entered the neighborhood and were ushered upstairs to begin. We regained our readers and off we went. First we spent some time doing small talk to get the ball rolling, then we did a little review as I wanted to know the level of understanding that the non-native speakers have. The Turkish women in this group are great fun and outgoing, therefore they have a real need to communicate and their English shows it. They are really trying hard. After we had finished reading we decided to play a little game. I asked a native speaker what the sound for a chicken is in English. I was answered quickly "cock-a-doodle-doo" I then asked one of the Turkish women. She answered "co-ka-ree-co" Another person brought up an animal and we were off imitating animals. One of the women began to act out the facial expressions and body movements of horses, dogs, cats and pigs. By the time the story changed we were laughing very hard and enjoying ourselves. During the animal reenactments, a coffee table was pulled into the center of the room, tea was served with cakes, chocolate, candied jam and Uzbek bread. We enjoyed tea together and talked more. It was interesting that the previous conversation had made our friends think about their past lives. The Turkish women are a family, mother, three daughters and two granddaughters were with us. They began to talk about growing up on a farm in Uzbekistan, about how hard life was for Turkish refugees, the trek from Georgia (the region of Turkey they are originally from) and the then lastly their years in Russia. We left their apartment late. The night was a great success, everyone laughed and talked. At the end they walked us to our cars. It was a great night! Thanks to all of the volunteers who joined in and made it the night that it was. I attached a document below so that you could read about the experiences of this group of women. http://www.dwd.state.wi.us/dws/programs/refugees/Word_documents/mturksprofile.docAs an aside- most of the links I am able to send to you are found and given to me courtesy of the resident CATCH! historian, Jill Eden. Thanks Jill for all of your work.

Evenings that are just fun!

So we went into the neighborhoods this evening to join our volunteers. At the first neighborhood, while this was the third week for them and they are old hat by now we just thought we would go in to be a support to them. That neighborhood is the hardest one. The kids run around, they don't sit and they don't understand the importance of reading at all. However tonight I watched when our volunteers got out and began to set up their chairs the kids began to gather. I even watched some tearing across the parking lot at break neck speed to get there before the story started. I was amazed to see the kids in this neighborhood sitting on their bottoms, quietly listening to the story, some of them even raised their hands this evening and asked questions. It was fun to see! The numbers in this neighborhood have grown as well. They have gone from about 10 kids to this evening it seemed like there were about 25 sitting there intermittently but most actually stayed and listened.After we finished in that neighborhood we headed over to the second one. That neighborhood is mainly one long side walk with a very busy street right in the middle. When we get there we start on one end and move down until we all cross the street together. As we were rounding up children I sent a couple of messengers to the end of the sidewalk to pick up the others down at that end. A few minutes later I saw our messengers round the bend of the sidewalk with 7 other kids in tow, all of them yelling at the top of their lungs "We love to read! We love to read!" That was music to my ears. After that Robert and I and our volunteers crossed the street with the kids and sat down by the playground to read. We had a great time. There were about 29 kids here. This group is always quieter and their are a much more mixed bag of ethnicities in this neighborhood so it is an interesting puzzle. After we were finished reading, Jay, one of our volunteers went with Robert to visit a new Congolese family. On his way to their house he was invited in by one of our good Sudanese friends for a drink. I was left on the playground with Kerrie, another volunteer. I had promised the kids that I would stay and let them play for five minutes before taking them back. As we stood, waiting for the five minutes to pass, a very kind Uzbek women came and said "Speciba, cai moya doma?" or please come my house for tea. We smiled and I asked Kerrie if she were game and bless her soul she was so off we went. We went in through the sliding glass door of the home, taking our shoes off as we entered and sat to join Feruza in tea. She served us what she called "Uzbek pizza" meat and onions enclosed in a thin phillo dough, tea, cherries, candy and "hleb" or bread. After a bit I was feeling concerned about needing to walk the kids home but knew I didn't dare leave so soon so I began wishing for Jay, who can speak enough Russian to get the point across. As I was wishing for him I heard a voice "the kids said you were here." There Jay stood. I prompted him to tell Feruza that he spoke a little bit of Russian. She was thrilled. He started talking to her and translating for us and soon afterwards I was able to excuse myself and take the kids back. When I got back to Feruza's table they were still talking and having fun. Someone made a comment about the food and I told Kerrie "If she had known we were coming there would have been much more food." Just as I said that Jay began to translate "She says that it is too bad that she didn't know you were coming because she would have made much more." Feruza smiled and use her hands to show a whole mound of food on the whole table. I was so full with the little that we had eaten that I was content that she hadn't known we were coming. She asked them to come the next day for dinner. After we excused ourselves from Feruza's home I parted ways with Jay and Kerrie and went to relocate my husband. He had moved to his third African home by this time and was now firmly planted on the couch of one of my newest favorite little boys. As Robert finished his business with the family I got to make faces and play with the little five year old boy. He is such a great kid. He wants to learn English so badly. He will sit through five books without moving on reading nights. Finally we said our good byes to the family and headed to our car. As we were driving out of the neighborhood I saw a very familiar figure crossing the street. I pretended to speed up the van and act like I was headed toward the person. The young Bosnian father looked at the van first confused, then irritated then he knew and just stood in the middle of the street hands on hips daring me. I have always loved this kid. We pulled up beside him and his wife joined him at the side of our car to talk. She was holding their baby. As Robert was holding a conversation with the parents I was busy smooching the baby on the forehead and teaching her to say "your daddy is crazy" in Bosnian which got me a smack on the head. Just the reaction I was looking for. I then kept saying "Ja volim te" which means "I love you" to her. She is about five months old and adorable. She was kept launching herself and trying to climb into the window of our car. We had a great night. Twas fun! Thanks volunteers for your faithfulness. This is a blessing! It is fun making kids happy!!!

Cultural Confusion

Fourteen years ago, Robert & I started spending hours upon hours with Haitians, enough time that I learned to speak their language. Robert, being raised by a French mother only had to make some changes to his language to communicate.After two years with Haitians, God moved us into the Bosnian community where we spent the next five or so years. It is important to note that we never left the Haitians we just spent time in three different cultures, American, Haitian and Bosnian. In 2001 we again moved our focus to another culture, that of Afghanistan. As the years have gone on we have added three African cultures, and the Uzbek culture to our roster.Over the years since 94' Robert has become increasingly cross cultural but it has been very normal to him because this is the way he grew up, Jews, Iranians, Iraqis, French, Russian and on it goes in his home. If they were not originally from America his mother invited them home for dinner. She invited Americans too but you had to be a certain type of American to come and be willing to stay in the culture created by so many other cultures in the home.As for me, I grew up with people of different cultures around me but not in my home every minute of the day. We had people over on special occasions, Thanksgiving, Christmas etc. So here I sit 14 years later having difficulties that I don't understand.Last week we had two dinners to attend. The first an Uzbek family invited us to their home for dinner. I looked forward to it all week. I thought about how to adjust the culture in my head to fit into theirs. Knowing they were Muslim I chose my clothes to be appropriate for them, no short sleeve shirts, no skirts and I made certain my feet were really clean, no street dust. I then thought about who would be there and topics that would be fun to talk about. I made certain that as a family we did not have a large lunch and only a small snack for the kids in the afternoon as we were going into an eating marathon of very good food. We must eat or dishonor the family.I thought of the words that I knew in Uzbek and could use. Put my "Rakhmat" in place of my most used word for "thank you" (the thank you word I use most often right now that just rolls off of my tongue quickly is the Kizigua Bantu "Asante" followed quickly by the Mai Mai word wattmahatsuntie) I needed to replace them and use "Rakhmat" instead.That evening we had a great time, talking, laughing and enjoying new and old friends. My children being raised in the same type of home as my husband had jumped right in, adjusted their culture like breathing and played with their friends. Robert hung with the men, went outside and walked around. We all went away feeling like it was a successful night.However as I drove away a familiar nagging feeling hit me. I never feel this relaxed in America anymore. By this I mean that when I spend time in a room for that many hours with Americans I leave feeling uptight and out of place. This nagging stayed with me all the next day as I knew I had an all American event to attend that evening.As I thought about it I analyzed my life and realized that I spend very little time in a strictly American society. By that I mean a room where the American culture is the dominant one. At our home the dominant culture is not a pure American one, it has American pieces, Haitian pieces, many Bosnian and Afghan pieces and even Laotian pieces thanks to one of our favorite people. We go to church for one hour a week but even there we sit with and spend much of our time in the building with an English Language Teacher, her husband and a young family from the Congo. So as you can see it is very rare that we spend time in a strictly American enviroment.So on the day of the American party I was nervous and unsure even a little angry. On the night of the event I had figured out what my problem was... when going into an American cultural situation I just went in and didn't prepare myself for the change. So on this night I prepared. I thought of how to act, what to say, what to wear and yes- even which "thank you" to use. It was odd thinking for me but it worked. So often lately when I leave these places I am unhappy worried that I did something wrong but I never understand why. I think I finally figured it out. So many pieces have added to my cultural make up that I have to be on my game and I take my American culture for granted which is just not there the way it used to be.In summary "Thank you" is not my first choice. I usually use asante, wattmahatsuntie, speciba, tashakur, or merci first. I don't use the culture I grew up in near as often as I use the one I have adopted to help me move into the Bantus, the Afghans, the Bosnians or the Africans. I take my shoes off at the front door much more often then I leave them on and I don't assume you speak English. It has been a very fun and interesting change for me. However, it comes with its share of confusion as well.